Organize an Online Consent and Boundaries Workshop
This online workshop opens up discussions about how to practice consent and show respect for boundaries in person and online. The event host facilitates a group conversation by sharing scenarios involving consent.
Create Your Event
Registering your event is easy! Simply decide on your event details and complete this registration page. Once your event is approved, it will show up in the national SAAM event list where folks from your area can find it. Event hosts will also receive an event URL they can use to promote the event.
Below are directions for hosting this event. Once you register and create an event more detailed instructions and guidance will be emailed to you.
Online Boundaries and Consent Workshop
Estimated Time: 30-45 minutes
Step 1: Start with an icebreaker. The goal is to make sure that everyone in the group is comfortable with each other to create a safe and thoughtful environment.
Step 2: Set a foundation for the group. Ask what is consent? Create and share a link to a google doc where attendees can write their own definitions in a shared space. You can also use the chat or whiteboard function within your online platform. Discuss the definitions that the group generated.
Step 3: Break everyone up into small groups of 2-4 people. If you’re not in an application that allows small groups, that is okay too.
Step 4: Read each scenario and have attendees/groups respond to the discussion questions. Attendees can reference this guide on consent.
- Scenario 1: Charlie and Finley have been dating for a few weeks. Charlie asked to kiss Finley last week and they agreed. Tonight at dinner, Charlie kissed Finley again and Finley kissed them back.
- Discussion: Was there consent from Finley? Would your view on the situation be different if Charlie and Finley had been together for a few months or a few years?
- Scenario 2: Lennon has been out drinking. Riley texts Lennon and asks if they want to come over. Lennon agrees. When Lennon arrives, Riley asks if Lennon wants to have sex, to which Lennon says yes.
- Discussion: Was there consent? Did the fact that Lennon had consumed alcohol impact whether there was consent? Would the situation be different if Riley had also been drinking?
- Scenario 3: Clarke and Dakota have been dating for a few months. They’ve slept over at the other’s apartment multiple times. After dinner one night, Clarke notices that Dakota seems off. Clarke then asks Dakota if they want to go home with him. Dakota fidgets and says, “I guess.” Once home, Clarke asks Dakota if they want to have sex. Dakota responds, “If you want to.”
- Discussion: Was there consent? What do you think Clarke should do next to show respect for Dakota?
Step 5: Bring the group back into a larger group discussion. Address questions or thoughts the scenarios brought up. Then ask, what is online consent? Share a link to a google doc where attendees can write their own definitions. You can also use the chat or whiteboard function within your online platform. Discuss the definitions that the group generated.
Step 6: Read each scenario and have attendees/groups respond to the discussion questions.
- Scenario 1: Dallas can’t wait for their second date with Ash. Ash seemed really into Dallas, but they haven’t been answering Dallas’s texts all day. Dallas doesn’t know what to think, and sends Ash a request for a video call to find out what’s going on.
- Discussion: Is this a situation where consent plays a role? Do you think Dallas was justified in how they acted? How might you see the situation differently if you were Ash?
- Scenario 2: While texting, Devon asked their partner Kai if they would send a shirtless selfie. Kai explained that they didn’t feel comfortable sending photos like that. Devon said they understood and the text conversation continued as normal. Later on that evening, Devon asked for a shirtless selfie again, adding that they’d had a long day and a photo like that from Kai would cheer them up. Kai says they really don’t want to but they’ll do it if it means that much to Devon. Kai takes and sends the image.
- Discussion: Was there consent? How do you think Kai feels reading the second request from Devon? If Kai had wanted to, how could they have said no to Devon’s second request?
- Scenario 3: Adrian and Elliott moved in together after dating for a year and they now share a computer. While logging into their account on the computer, Elliott notices a minimized one-on-one chat that Adrian was having with someone earlier in the day. Eliott doesn’t recognize the name so they read through the chat log to find out who the person is and how they know Adrian.
- Discussion: Was there consent? Would you have been tempted to read the chat log? How could Adrian and Elliott communicate and set boundaries around sharing a computer for the future?
Step 7: Wrap-Up. Thank attendees and wrap up by providing links to more resources on consent.