I Ask How to Teach Consent Early

Late childhood and early adolescence is a time when children get 
messages about relationships and consent from TV shows, movies, social 
media, and friends. This makes it an ideal time for parents to have conversations 
about consent. Talking with your child now will encourage open and honest 
communication as they mature and enter their first relationships.

What is Consent?

Consent means asking someone for their permission to do something and accepting 
their answer.

Consent shows up in kids’ lives when they ask peers if and what they want to play, 
if they want to sit together at lunch or on the bus, if they’d like to share 
school supplies, toys, food, etc.  

Helping kids to ask for consent and accept rejection in these everyday ways builds 
a foundation for practicing consent in intimate relationships as they get older.

Talk Openly

Ask yourself: What messages is my child getting about relationships and consent? 
What messages do I want them to get?

Let your child know they can come to you with questions about consent and relationships.

Answer their questions honestly and encourage ongoing conversations about respect 
and safety. 

For example, you could tell your child, “Everyone’s body deserves respect,” or 
“If someone hurts us, it’s okay to talk about it.”

Teach Respect for Boundaries

Teach your child that consent means always choosing to respect others’ boundaries. 

Boundaries are a person’s right to choose what is comfortable for them. 

For example, “It sounds like your friend didn’t want to sit beside you on the bus 
today. Sometimes you don’t want to sit beside me and that’s okay. Everybody gets 
to make choices about what’s comfortable for them.”

Teach How to Ask for Consent

Help your child to think about how their actions might make another person feel 
and to ask questions if they don’t know.

Everyone has different boundaries, and no one should ever feel pressured to do 
something that they’re uncomfortable with. 

Model Asking for Consent

Show your child ways to ask for consent by modeling the words and actions yourself.

Model respect for boundaries by asking your child for consent and accepting their answer, 
like when asking for a hug or sharing information about them with others.

Use teachable moments to talk about consent and respect.

For example, “I could tell your guidance counselor that grandma died if that’s okay 
with you,” or “It’s okay if you don’t want a goodnight hug.”


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