Strategies for Becoming an Adult Ally


Adults’ attitudes and assumptions about young people can sometimes get in the way of effective communication 
about healthy sexuality and collaboration for sexual violence prevention. Stereotypes about youth may discourage 
adults from taking young people seriously and valuing their experiences, ideas, feelings, skills, and contributions 
as leaders and agents of social change. 

Overcoming adultism is an important part of building youth-adult partnerships for sexual violence prevention . Adultism 
refers to “behaviors and attitudes based on the assumption that adults are better than young people, and entitled to act 
upon young people without their agreement” (Bell, 1995, p. 1). Like racism, sexism, and other forms of oppression, adultism 
is expressed through individual attitudes and actions, as well as social norms, traditions, and institutions. The oppression 
of young people is widely accepted, largely because adults internalized this message when they were young and received similar 
treatment. Because everyone has been young, everyone has been a target of adultism. However, the particular ways young people 
experience adultism are influenced by their social environment and their race, ethnicity, gender identity and expression, 
sexual orientation, class, and other identities (Bell, 1995).

Adults can work to eliminate adultism while still providing young people with guidance, structure, mentoring, support, and 
safety. It is important for adult allies to be responsive to young people’s developmental needs, and to do so in ways that 
promote young people’s strengths, confidence, and power.

Here are some strategies for becoming an adult ally:

• Listen. Actively listen when young people share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Ask questions. Recognize their 
  experiences as valid and valuable sources of knowledge. Validate their ideas and feelings. Keeping an open mind can help 
  us become better listeners. 

• Learn. Make an active effort to learn about youth culture and the social, political, and economic realities and concerns 
  of young people, as defined by young people themselves. Show your interest, and find opportunities to get involved in ways 
  that respect youth ownership and leadership on the issues.

• Appreciate young people’s assets. Recognize the strengths and abilities, worldviews, issues of concern, communication styles, 
  etc. of youth, and do not expect them to be the same as yours.

• Practice and promote respect. Be mindful of your tone and treatment toward young people. Be respectful, non-judgmental, 
  and encouraging. Expect and encourage young people to treat each other the same way.

• Be honest. Young people need adult allies they can count on to tell the truth and provide accurate, 
  developmentally-appropriate information. 

• Engage with young people as equals. Make sure young people have opportunities to shape and guide programs in meaningful 
  ways by including them as equal participants in decision-making processes at all levels of the organization. Resist the 
  impulse to take over, or to do things for young people that they can do themselves. While fostering equality among young 
  people and adults is vital, adults have certain ethical and legal responsibilities regarding young people’s safety and 
  mandated reporting of child abuse. It is important that adults consider and communicate clearly with young people about 
  these responsibilities.

• Evaluate policies and procedures. Identify and address any barriers to young people’s full and equal participation as 
  partners and leaders in preventing sexual violence. For example (Klindera & Menderweld, 2001):

	• Are important meetings scheduled during school hours?
	• When meetings/activities occur during meal times, are participants’ meals provided or reimbursed?
	• Are meetings/activities held at locations that can be easily reached by participants who do not drive?
	• Are youth volunteers/staff provided with the same resources (e.g., work space, email address, internet access, etc.) 
	  as adult volunteers/staff?

• Provide resources. Young people need information, training, and other resources to succeed in leadership roles and participate 
  as equals in youth-adult partnerships. The resource Best Practices for Engaging Youth as Partners in Sexual Violence Prevention  
  explores approaches to effectively engage youth.

• Allow room to grow. Developing leadership skills and becoming an adult ally are an ongoing learning process. It is important 
  for young people and adults to be willing to take risks, learn from successes and missteps, and continue to build their own 
  knowledge and skills along the way.

• Interrupt adultism. Speak up when you encounter attitudes or actions that reflect adultism. Help other adults identify and 
  change adultist attitudes and behaviors. Help youth identify and challenge adultist messages they may have been taught to believe 
  about themselves and other young people.

• Find other allies. Get support from other adults engaged in this work.


Additional Resources
	
Kivel, P. (2006). Adultism. Retrieved from 
http://www.paulkivel.com/resources/articles/23-article/83-adultism. 

Tate, T. F., & Copas, R. L. (2003). Insist or enlist?: Adultism versus climates of excellence. reclaiming children and youth, 12(1), 
40-45. Retrieved from 
http://reclaimingjournal.com/sites/default/files/journal-article-pdfs/12_1_Tate_Copas.pdf. 



References

Bell, J. (1995). Understanding adultism: A major obstacle to developing positive youth-adult relationships. Retrieved from YouthBuild USA: 
https://youthbuild.org/sites/youthbuild.org/files/kb_item/2011/11/792/UnderstandingAdultism.pdf

Klindera, K., & Menderweld, J. (2001). Youth involvement in prevention programming. Retrieved from Advocates for Youth: 
http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/storage/advfy/documents/involvement.pdf



© National Sexual Violence Resource Center 2014. All rights reserved.

Author: Annie Gebhardt, MPH